If you’re new here, the Turf Wars Cup is a fictional event we created that questions what a regional tournament would look like with the NCAA’s best players. In case you missed the first two articles find them below.
Today we talk about the contenders. These teams are deepest, most talented, sickest rosters in the tournament. As a reminder, we will hold voting on these rosters next week to let the people decide. Ok, lets get into it.
Baltimore
Head Coach: Ray Lewis
Assistant Coach: Marcus Holman
Play Style
The group will be one of the most attack oriented groups in the tournament. Brandau and King are two of the highest scorers in the nation, and both would likely be household names if they played on tv more. With McCabe as a highly accomplished third option, all three of these guys will put pressure on the close defence.
The most distinct play style will be the double-pole wing play of Jack Stuzin and Mason Woodward. Two of the most dynamic players at their position in the country, they are certified game ruiners at the position.
While Lewis offers lots of insightful coaching, his main contribution will be in the goal-celebration category. Behind Ray’s leadership, this team will celly their pants off. Good stuff.
How Will They Win?
The attack is legit, and the defence is deep as well.
Transition play will be huge for them. Woodward and Stuzin are as advertised, and Billy Dwan is huge, rapidly improving, and very interested in scoring goals. Don’t be surprised to see multiple defenders crossing the midfield line with regularity.
Colleti is dominant and seems to enjoy playing against the best. With him and Bonitz, the Baltimore team has representation from two thirds of the greatest fighting force in history. Is that good?
How Will They Lose?
The midfield is relatively lower scoring than the other groups, but doubt them at your own risk. Koras does everything well on the lacrosse field, and they will get open shots from the attack.
SSDM is an unproven spot for them, but Eric Kolar is good and only getting better for Maryland.
Ellington may not be a household name but he should be. He’s saving 56% of shots this year.
Post-Game Beverage of Choice
Natty Boh
The Baltimore Orioles recently put out a press release announcing that Natty Boh was back on the menu this summer. Have you ever seen that for a beer?
Washington
Head Coach: Joe Gibbs
Assistant Coach: Paul Rabil
Play Style
Like Baltimore, this team will double pole the wings with Wayer and Checo. Imagine seeing face offs in a potential matchup between the two DMV teams, with Stuzin, Woodward, Checo, and Wayer. Holy sh*t.
At the attack, these are three of the highest scoring players in the nation. Dupuis is right up there in terms of scoring, and Young has carried the show. Shelly is somewhere between the first and fourth best player in the country.
This offence will be initiated exclusively behind the goal. I cheated and gave them Angelus because of the potential electricity in the big little game, and because he’s a dynamic player. Hopkins teammate Garret Degnon was a late cut.
I also cheated with Eicher, who’s part of a ruthless Army offensive unit. Everyone on this team will play behind the goal.
Gibbs has grown teams to the top of two different professional sports, and did it in the nation’s capital. Why not do it again?
How Will They Win?
Like New Jersey, they have one of a small number of players who can truly dominate at the highest level. To play at the level that Shellenberger has with the scrutiny, attention, and physical pounding is incredible. By any measure he’s one of the great college players of all time.
The defence is legit. Wayer is 6’3 and is a hulk. Checo had 54(!) caused turnovers last year and is the next in a long line of Lehigh LSM’s who are no fun to play against.
Meanwhile, Figueiras has been part of a great Syracuse defence this season and takes a lot of the best matchups. Shroter is an alien that might be the best defender in lacrosse next season.
How will they lose?
Well until the very end, they probably won’t.
Norton and Mudlaff are not household names but I included both of them because they have basically opposite statlines. They will need to hold up their end.
Fracyon and Hayashi have both been outstanding this season and will have to show that they belong in the top tier.
Post-Game Beverage of Choice
Orange Crush
I know, this is more of a Maryland thing… but this one was hard. Never had one myself, but I think a few of my teammates in College Park tried them… they seemed to enjoy themselves.
South
Head Coach: Charles Barkley
Assistant Coach: Liam Byrnes
Play Style
This is the best midfield in the tournament, and might be the 2nd best offensive unit in general. Expect this team to play a power-dodging offence from the top of the box. Dobson and Plunklett can get downhill and shoot the rock in an unusually punishing style. Their shots just look harder than most.
Faison is a great story, and provides the lightning to the thunder.
Barkley is mostly here because of his trash talk and him being known to buy large bar tabs for various groups over the years. Both will be useful at the TWC.
How will they win?
The offence is really fun. Beyond the midfield, Zawada gives some slickness that is useful and interesting. He will reunite with Cohen to relive their glory days from Michigan. Meanwhile Erksa is a dynamic, new-age player. He moves like an X attackmen and dodges like one too, but can hammer the ball from up top. He’s fun to watch.
This is another really fun faceoff unit as well. Burke has been at this for a while and is effective. Hess might be the best SSDM in the country (ironically he had his best game this season against Dobson) and Carpenter is a vacuum.
How will they lose?
Vigue is far from a household name but will need to be great during this tournament. Having a hypothetically healthy Van Buren will be useful to cover the best players, but the others will need to really cover.
But they’re going to score a boatload.
Post-Game Beverage of Choice
High Noons
Did you know that High Noons are made in South Carolina? Now you do. Lucky for the southerners.
Long Island
Head Coach: Billy Joel
Assistant Coach: Tom Schreiber
Play Style
Coach Billy is just here for the post-game, this team shouldn’t need any help. Long Island’s most famous son will lead this juggernaut of a team through the TWC.
Offensively, they can play however they damn want. The Kavanaugh’s will have their own offence by themselves. Duke teammates Macadorey and O’Neill will have a separate one themselves. That leaves Spallina and Varado to figure something else out. I think they will.
How Will They Win?
By fielding the best offence maybe ever. They have two of the top four attackmen in the game, and three of the top… eight?
I cheated here with Chris Kav, an attackman. But he’s dynamic enough to play midfield and when you have the best chemistry with the best (or second best here) player… you’re pretty useful.
Defensively, Brower and Pilate are maulers. Pisano and Meyer are nasty too.
Aviles and Martin are included mostly because I can’t tell them apart.
They have both parts of the specialist group from last year’s first-team all-america.
How Will They Lose?
They won’t.
Post-Game Beverage of Choice
Long Island Iced Tea
Do people from Long Island actually drink these? I’m honestly not sure, but the name was too easy to pass up. They will likely add champagne to the list eventually.
That brings the rosters to an end! Stay tuned next week for voting!